In Pursuit of Relationship


On my commute this morning, I was listening to a marriage Podcast. They were answering a listener’s question, and it really made me think.

What is the difference between asking and pursuing in relationships?

This topic caused me to question how I approach my relationships in life. Am I asking, or pursuing? Do I just ask people to give me things (time, help, advice, etc.), or do I first make an offer to give them something they want? Am I building the other person up, or bringing them down?

Some people are takers. You know who they are, because each interaction leaves you feeling like you got the short end of the stick. You keep on giving to them, but never get anything in return.

Being in a relationship with a taker is exhausting. You have to do all the hard work, and they just sit back and enjoy life.

But, it’s easy for all of us to become takers. Especially in our closest relationships.

We rationalize our laziness by telling ourselves that “it’s just for now — it’s just this one time.” We remind ourselves of all the good things we’ve done for the other person in the past, and now we’ve earned a little taking.

We think that because that person is committed to us, they won’t give us any push back. They’ll just take our second-best effort, and keep picking up the slack.

I feel like this describes my efforts lately. And, my wife is starting to let me know about it!

So, I’m asking you to join me in evaluating your relationships — especially with those closest to you.

Are you asking or pursuing?

Tony

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